So often things don’t live up to expectations. This mini retreat I planned has been no different. Expecting some peaceful exploration, I was met with energy bombardment and little sleep to further widen that gap. I’m finding myself needing to be met with kindness. For myself, from myself.
Allowing feeling like crying. Allowing frustration. Allowing myself to feel completely pissed off that my boundaries aren’t being respected. and leaning into knowing they are stuck in a wounded self too. but that doesn’t make it ok. Just not worthy of my anger. Practicing kindness, practicing gratitude ( really fucking hard. Ok, I not there yet, dually noted)
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I've entered into circle. This blog actually feels like a circle, all the fabulous feminine sharing.
I have a circle of friends there as a constant, both new and old. A lovely thing, that contact. A circle of family, ties redder than most with some and darkening with others, but still held within the circle. I have also developed an awesome online circle of amazing artists, leaders, seers, medicine women. A wonderful balm to my ragged soul. I trained as a Red Thread Circle leader 2 years ago, hoping to offer that container to my community. It's a work in progress, one I hope to progress more soon. I am in circle with my inner wisdom, that access to the universe, so an expansive circle. Today I wear the red thread to remind of my connection. And for all of you lovelies in my circle. Holding space for you, ~deb♥ I awoke to thoughts of Easter in mind.
Of sunrises. A bittersweet memory of day with that boy whole filled my vision, And a smile for a blunder. A dawn innumerable, awake to a season of birth and re-birth. An invitation was made, how will you respond. No answer required, the opportunity exists to dwell in possibility. Peace allowed. Reluctant to emerge from my cocoon of shelter, into the world of static noise, wrapped in a cloak of inner peace, a toe begins the step. The whirlwind world may destroy the body, it cannot subdue the light. Man, I'm well into the day and just getting to my blog. I, of course, had some different intentions on that front, but whatever works. I'm also a little out of my comfort zone in having to work on my clunky home computer (weekday work computers are much faster, yeah, I work at work, just not on work. I mean, sometimes.....:) My office closed early for Easter weekend yesterday, giving me some extra time that I quickly filled with errands (code for spending money). THEN, I ended back out there getting even more stuff today! To be fair, I didn't want to go, but I did need upholstery thread. (Don't ask, it's another mess I'm working on that I'm not sure I should be). Fast forward to 4:00pm and I'm finally slowed down. This feels much better. Time invested listening. What needs to be said today?
~deb♥ Welcome to day 2 of blogging daily for a month with Effy Wild!
I was sort of in a panic this morning thinking, "What can I write about that will be of substance? Have a real take away for everyone?" Then I realized, wow, you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Start small, go slow. It's a reminder I need almost daily. I often feel pretty crummy through out the day, tense shoulders, tight eyes, growing headache, fatigue. Some of that is the weight of what I put on myself. Those damn expectations! Those should be's, want to's....all that. I've committed to blog daily, (and realize it's not required) because it's a good practice for my business. But more importantly, I've made a commitment to myself to invest that time in myself, as a release, and to allow. Once more my inner wisdom slipped it's boot in the door and said "Wait!" Just. wait. Allow, experience, release. So here it is, my accountability to doing just that. holding space for myself and all you lovely creatives, ~deb♥ Wow! This is going to be huge for me! I rarely blog consistently. Actually, it might be more fair to say I rarely blog. But I figured this would be a good method of accountability AND a great opportunity to learn about other blogging creatives.
I joined this blog everyday event from Effy Wild, an amazing artist in many of the circles I follow, also writer and teacher. (plus I fricken' LOVE her name!) We have a facebook group so we can find each other's blogs, then we will be reading and commenting on at least 3 per blog post share. How fun! Since I just decided to do this-today-the first day, this is going to be a short one. I did want to get in her link so you can see what she is doing and maybe join yourself if you are of a mind. (click on the image below, isn't that an awesomely colorful graphic!?) |
AuthorLet's being a journey together. I'll share my experiences and hopefully you'll join in. A journey in art! Archives
January 2024
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